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| Carberry's bat snaps like England's resistance - © Sky Sports Cricket (Twitter) |
Having won the toss, losing a Test match inside three days
is almost an achievement.
Yet again England started well with the ball, and yet again
Australia’s lower middle-order and tail led a recovery that was followed by an
English batting aberration.
Not only have Australia regained the Ashes, but they did it
by handing out a 5-0 beating to an English side that went into the series as
strong favourites.
Journalists and fans (and those that are a bizarre
combination of the both, like Piers Morgan) have taken to every available
medium to criticise the team for their performance, their attitude and their
bravery.
If there is a word in the semantic field of embarrassment
that is yet to be used then please share it with me.
The fifth and final Test was a beautiful metaphor for the
series as whole. The bowling was promising without being clinical, the batting
was dreadful and wickets fell in alarming clusters without a meaningful
upper-order contribution, and the whole thing was finished after three-fifths
of the allotted time.
The pitch was grassy and the green tinge was enough to
convince Alastair Cook that with his only won toss of the series, he should
bowl first.
This was arguably the right decision, because despite the
pitch playing fairly well and offering turn as the game developed, Anderson
moved it around early, and Broad and Stokes were also among the wicket takers
as Australia slumped to 97/5.
Unfortunately five wickets down meant that Brad Haddin
joined Steve Smith at the crease, the England bowling became shorter and less
potent as Australia’s Mr Consistent jumped into one-day mode.
Haddin’s 75 supported Steve Smith’s second century of the
series, and after a century stand, the last four wickets put on another hundred
and Australia had reached a competitive 326.
Due to Australia’s quick scoring; there was of course still
time for England to lose a wicket before the close on day one. Carberry guided
Johnson into the waiting hands at leg gully for a duck.
From a promising first session and a half, England were on a
mission to capitulate on day two.
Cook left a straight one to fall LBW and Anderson the
night-watchman went as well to provide further momentum. Bell and Pietersen’s
painstaking single-figure innings led England to 23/5.
A few lusty blows from Stuart Broad complimented the grit
displayed by Ben Stokes in his 47, who batted alongside Gary Balance and Jonny
Bairstow as they both made 18, as England scraped past the follow-on target.
This was another opportunity for Australia to play the
aggressive ‘brand’ of cricket that had proven so effective so far…
In England Chris Rogers rarely sets a match alight when
playing for Middlesex, and he played in a similar circumspect way in the summer
Ashes series.
As he has grown into his role in this team, the veteran
opener has looked more free scoring, but this innings was a thing of beauty. He
required only 169 balls in making his 119, regularly striking more than one
boundary in wayward overs.
He was supported by George Bailey whose 46 was the next biggest
contribution, but frankly it wouldn’t have mattered if the other ten had
contributed only 46 between them, it was Rogers’ day and the result was already
beyond doubt.
England’s second innings lasted less than 32 overs as they
collapsed within three days, and whilst Stokes and Broad provided some late
entertainment with six sixes between them, it was a shameful end to an
embarrassing tour.
There was a nice moment of mirth when Carberry’s bat snapped
clean in two playing a routine defensive stroke, it nicely analogised the way
Australia’s bowlers had broken England’s resistance.
Keep an eye on www.sportsgazette.co.uk
over the next couple of weeks as the group of us analyse the horror in further
detail.
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