The Beautiful Game… A Brief Season Review

Firstly I must apologise in advance, for missing important events and details from the season that helped make it as epic as it has been described as, by just about every pundit and commentator in the land.

Everything that I love (and sometimes hate) about football was encapsulated into the season that has just finished. 2011/2012 was regularly described as the ‘season of all seasons’, and from a personal point of view, it really did have everything except success for my beloved Manchester United. The only way the season that just keeps giving could possibly outdo itself, is by providing an England win over ‘Ze Germans at Euro 2012, but I think that may e asking a bit too much.

The only area in which bitterness creeps in, when I think about the season just gone, is when I consider how Manchester City won the title. That they were the better, and more consistent, team is hard to disprove as they scored the most goals and conceded the least. However, they very nearly threw it away, and that is the killer.

Whoever wrote the script in 1999 for the glorious Sheringham and Solskjaer inspired comeback that saw United crowned ‘Kings of Europe’ really pulled one out of the bag this year. Everton finished above Liverpool and ‘King’ Kenny Dalglish has got the boot, all three promoted teams survived relegation, and Robin Van Persie provided a new meaning to the song “he scores when he wants”. Both of the Manchester Clubs threw away solid leads in the title race, before finishing level on points, with City stealing the crown with two goals in stoppage time to confirm a goal difference win. There was goal line drama at Wembley with Martin Atkinson giving Chelsea a game-changing goal in the FA Cup semi-final that caused Harry Redknapp’s face to fall even further than it already does naturally. Replays showed that the ball barely reach the line, let alone crossed it, summing up what the second half of the season was like for ‘Arry, who will ply his trade in the Europa League again next year; a far cry from Euro 2012 where we all thought he’d be.

Talking of Euro 2012, ‘Woy’s’ the man for England!  Well, to give him his full name, Roy Hodgson, but frankly if he can’t pronounce his name properly, then I shouldn’t have to either.

The season eventually finished in a way that only Gary Neville saw coming. Coining phrases such as “it’s written in the stars”, and “something’s happening!”, Neville screeched as Chelsea progressed, and eventually a Champions League final showdown with Bayern Munich, at their own ground, ensued.  For 120 minutes it resembled a particularly brutal assault as Bayern poured forward in wave after wave of attack.  To borrow a line from noted wordsmith David Haye, it was “more one-sided than a gang-rape”. (What a way with words that lovely man has). Unfortunately for Bayern, GNev was right, something was happening.  

When Thomas Muller eventually scored with 7 minutes to play, Didier Drogba equalised, and after Petr Cech had saved Arjen Robben’s poorly taken penalty (which Drogba had conceded), it became more and more apparent that fate was intervening. Four years on from Chelsea’s last visit to the final they were back with a score to settle. In a twist of Shakespearian proportions, the man who was sent off in Moscow 4 years ago, Drogba, scored the winning penalty with his last ever touch of the ball for the team, whilst John Terry, the man who missed a chance to win the trophy in Moscow in 2008, was sat in the stand, suspended for an act of sheer stupidity. 

What a truly apt turn of events.

It’s A Beautiful Game…

Coming Soon... The first annual Richard Awards. A series of the bests and worsts of the season as democratically decided by me.

The Football Game

This will make very little sense unless you were in my group of close friends at school. Needless to say it is all a projection of my insane imagination...

With the season over, it’s been all change in the football game so far this summer. Former Brentwood King’s manager, Nathan Carrington has celebrated his knighthood, awarded for services to sport, in style by becoming the manager at his former club Brentwood Bangers. He replaces Sir Richard Jude, who has retired to a position as a director after leading the team to his fifth Champions League success. Another Carrington has left the club this summer however, with Jesper, Nathan’s son leaving in a £23 million move to Real Madrid having seen his first team opportunities limited by the partnership between Tom Connor and Danny Lancaster. Jesper’s twin brother Robbie, and centre back George Brownn have both been appointed vice-captains. Ross Scott has made a £15 million move to his boyhood club Arsenal, and Peter Smith, son of Ongar Manager Andrew, has been handed the number 3 shirt. Matt Gillespie has also moved on, his £5 million move to Warley Park Rangers has been labelled as part of a signal of intent that includes; the renovation of their stadium, The Dip, and the double signing of Arnie and Marnie Van Martyn from Ajax, that WPR are ready to mount a title challenge. Matt’s father Andrew remains a club director at the Bangers, and has recently announced himself 4 years sober, after a very public battle with alcoholism marred a significant period in his life. On a sadder note, the careers of Fabien Barez, the veteran keeper, and Olly Staiano, have come to an end. Barez leaves to return to his country of birth Brazil, and Olly, whose career has finally succumbed to the injuries sustained in a car crash 6 years ago, will become head of the youth development programme at the club. Young Bangers defender Rob Salmon has finally spoken out about the mental illness that led to the incarceration of his father Tom. “It was terrible to see; he kept going on about how killing everyone would end the game, and win the bet. He was a danger to himself and others, and I’m glad he’s now being well looked after and nobody was harmed.” Brentwood Bangers have also already confirmed the first four signings of the Carrington era. Pascal St. Omer has been brought in from PSG for £7 million, and Greenlandic International Jan Rasingle defender has signed on a free transfer from Yorkshire Puddings. West Bacon’s striker Jonny Levins has made the £17 million move from east London, and the Argentinian playmaker Santiago Barahona-Gomariz has joined from Atletico Madrid in a £32 million deal. Arthur Abbitt has reason to celebrate this summer, being made captain at Warley Hill United, and his father George has signed a new deal to remain as England manager up until the end of the 2018 world cup, which will be hosted here. Warley Hill United’s Childerditch Lane complex is ahead of schedule as it is revamped to host an international team for the tournament, as Brentwood King’s home, the Brentwood Centre, and Brentwood Banger’s complex at Hartswood Road, will also do.