My Application for the England Manager's Job

In today’s modern society, it is perfectly normal for
somebody to catch up on news through a quick scan of their Twitter feed. At lunchtime today I was scrolling through my timeline from this morning when I found that, at exactly the same time as Fabio Capello’s arrival at Wembley for talks regarding his comments about John Terry, the jury were signalling a not-guilty verdict had been reached in Harry Redknapp’s tax-evasion trial. Almost poetically the next England Manager-elect was being given a reprieve from a sticky situation, as the current manager was explaining the comments that had made his leadership virtually untenable.

Later on this evening, the final piece in the ‘Harry’s perfect day puzzle’ fell into place, as Capello resigned leaving the job that Redknapp is 2/7 favourite to fill, available. However, all is not yet clear. Harry Redknapp has unfinished business at a blossoming Tottenham Hotspur, who, having built a squad of real quality, are determined to hang-on to their prize assets,
and ‘Arry is certainly one of those. Whether Daniel Levy, the Spurs chairman, will be willing to allow Redknapp manage England as well as Tottenham until the end of the season I’m not so sure, so this could result in Stuart Pearce keeping the job on a temporary basis until the European Championships this summer, and even then, will Harry be able to pass up the opportunity to have another crack at the Champions League next season?

This dilemma, along with the hash-tag topic on Twitter, #ReasonsWhyIShouldBeEnglandManager, has led me to believe it is my duty as a patriotic England supporter, to offer my services. What follows is my application and open letter to the Football Association that I have also emailed to them…

Dear Sirs,
It has come to my attention that following on from discussions today at the home of football, England manager Fabio Capello has resigned from his role, leaving you with the duty to fill that position.

There are many excellent candidates for the role, with under 21s boss Stuart Pearce,
Alan Pardew at Newcastle, and Harry Redknapp all worthy of honourable mentions. Following on from rumours surrounding these managers who have proven themselves in professional circumstances, a flurry of informal applications may have come to your attention via social networking site Twitter. Many of these applicants possess glittering CVs across different editions of Football Manager, including success at the highest level of club, and International football.
Like Mr. Redknapp and Mr. Pardew, I am able to fill one vital area of requirement. Being born and raised in England, and through following the international team, I would fit the bill regarding an English successor to another failed foreign manager, and I fully understand the
expectations of the fans, having sat with them in front of my television and at Wembley on cold evenings, during the Euro 2008 qualifying campaign. Following on from this, I don’t particularly like umbrellas, so the chances of an embarrassing picture of me sheltering from the rain whilst my players toil, appearing in the national press, are extremely slim.

Like the Football Manager enthusiasts of Twitter, I can boast a successful run with varying teams, and a history of getting the best out of different types of, and standards of player. I turned the Everton team of 2004/2005 into the greatest team on the planet across a four year period that culminated in multiple Champions League successes, before moving on to England where I tasted success in World and European Cups. My work at Everton didn’t go unnoticed as David Moyes proceeded to sign Yakubu, Andy Van Der Meyde, Tim Howard and Phil Jagielka within two years of me doing so in the game.

Other highly successful managerial spells have followed including domestic league and cup success at Chelsea and Liverpool over a four year period, a dominant spell with a talented, but previously ill-disciplined, Spain, under the pseudonym ‘Mr. Bean’. Most recently though, I’ve enjoyed two successive promotions with lowly Chelmsford into the Football League, and a
devastating six year period in charge of Manchester United in which I built upon Sir Alex Ferguson’s success by rebuilding and winning four Champions League in six years, and holding all seven possible trophies at the same time, with a team captained by Wayne Rooney.

As I assume the realistic nature of Football Manager is not up for question I’d like to highlight the success my Rooney-led team had as encouragement for allowing Wayne and I to form this partnership of coach and captain in real life. Rooney’s form is instrumental for that of England as his record throughout the World Cup qualifying campaign, and then the contrasting finals in South Africa testify, and as captain, and under my guidance, Rooney was unstoppable.

As well as my FM record, and enviable relationship with England’s star player, I bring a
level-headedness and patience to a job that hasn’t been present for a very long time. My common-sense and logic would allow me to adapt to whatever situation the England team may find itself in, and I would intend to only take players to the tournament that I intended to play, which would surely place me as slightly more suited to the high pressure role than Sven proved himself to be when selecting Theo Walcott for the 2006 World Cup.

I look forward to discussing my availability with you very soon, as we look to shape an England team that can succeed at the highest level, will include a goalkeeper unafraid of stopping opposition goals, and won’t include Emile Heskey. Please feel free to get in touch by tweeting me
@RichardJude to discuss terms or to clarify my stance on any matters that may
concern you.

Regards,

Richard Jude