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| John Lense-on, Paul i-MacCartney, Ring-Ringo Star and Georgina Harrison The modern-Beatles recreate Abbey Road in a photography lesson © Giulio Gasparin |
As England slumped to the inevitable defeat on the fifth
morning of the second Ashes Test I was left with the conundrum of how to
objectively word another appraisal without going over old ground.
The fact that several batsmen got out playing the same shot
wasn't going to make the task any easier.
As I have been part of an increasingly professional and
impressive coverage of the Tests on Sports Gazette, our student publication, I
thought it might be nice to share the burden of explaining England’s woes. This
idea will be trialled for the third Test.
So keep an eye out here for a summary when this current Test
finishes, and a link to the article as our crack-team explains where it has all
gone wrong.
Regarding the final day of the second Test, the England
tactics were virtually non-existent, and as Broad, Prior and the tail threw
that bat, fifty runs were scored rapidly, but from the moment Broad got out to
the fifth ball of the morning, to Monty Panesar’s demise, it was when, and not
if, Australia would win.
Another issue that is worthy of comment is the World Cup
draw that has placed England in the Group of Death, helpfully caricatured by
Greg Dyke’s cut-throat symbol.
As soon as England went into the draw without a top seeding,
all hell was scheduled to break loose. The Fifa World Ranking system produces
some bizarre results, but you’d be hard-pushed to suggest England are one of
the best eight teams on the planet.
Therefore, once there is an acceptance of this, it is also
accepted that the draw would put England against one of those teams.
However, whether or not it is unlucky, the group is a tough
one, made harder by the trip to Manaus and the humid conditions that will greet
the players as the opening fixture kicks off earlier in the day than initially
planned.
The stereotypical result would be to draw the opening game
1-1 through a set-piece goal (see England’s previous starts to major
tournaments), scrape something against the Uruguayan’s and sneak through in the
final group fixture unconvincingly.
With England losing so poorly to Chile and Germany at
Wembley last month though, the levels of pre-World Cup optimism may be at an
all time low. In previous friendly matches against big opposition, England have
defied expectations and got credible results and sometime impressive wins.
During Capello’s reign, and Sven before him, the major
tournament results were disappointing, but there was at least some semblance of
form in show-piece non-competitive fixtures.
It is with that in mind that I abandon any optimism and only
foresee an early exit, but it is the manner of this I will be looking out for,
with the future in mind.
Finally, the calendar informs me that I’ve been making the
painstaking expedition from Brentwood to Twickenham, for twelve weeks now, and
we have broken up for Christmas. (A key advantage for never ending
further-education)
The time has flown past in a blur of cold station platforms,
shorthand outlines and local angles. I have observed and learned many things in
this period of time including, but not limited to:
- - Phil Collins is big in Italy
- - The best method for bringing down the school prefect system ISN'T becoming a prefect
- - The easiest way to wind up someone from ‘The Costa Del Gloucester’ is to call them Northern
- - Crocs are the perfect shoes for any outfit
- - Anything is news if it’s local
I remain unconvinced by Journalism as a profession, and may
take a characteristically bizarre detour at the end of the course, but I'm glad
I took up the place on the course, because otherwise I’d have always wondered.
The Christmas break will see a lot of shorthand and plenty
of Public Affairs revision as the exam beckons in January, but I’ll have plenty
of time to watch the World Championship Darts too. Now that’s a proper
winter-sport!
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